10 pieces of bad K-drama love advice
You will never catch me telling people to draw relationship inspiration from a K-drama. But I also believe there's nothing wrong with using all your resources when tottering around affairs of the heart. Love is a mystery, and honestly some of us (me!) could use all of the help we can get. If it comes in the form of watching K-drama's wacky heroes and heroines make fools out of themselves, then I am all too happy to take my notepad out and be schooled. Couples in dramas and movies can be blueprints for things not to do as a couple. And if we're talking about things that we shouldn't do when in relationships, then I know many K-dramas that are prime examples of that. Here are 10 lessons not to learn from K-dramas.
1. IT'S OKAY FOR SOMEONE TO PLAY HOT AND COLD WHILE FIGURING OUT THEIR FEELINGS
Have you ever watched a Squash match? You have? Good! Well imagine that the ball was your heart...still beating and pumping blood...and still connected to your chest while the object of your affection is viciously bouncing it on a wall. It sounds painful because it is, and that's how it feels to have someone toying with your feelings. It would be a mess and that's exactly what My Love From Another Star would be like in real life. The whole alien falling in love with a human girl thing aside, the premise - so creative and anticipated to be a scifi utopia to a true geek like me - turned out to be a typical Korean drama. The male protagonist, played by Kim Soo Hyun, foolishly acts like a total jerk based on a stupid sense of nobility and misplaced chivalry. Where have we seen this before, I wonder? In every single K-drama, that's where.
Anyway, his indecisiveness leaves both the feisty heroine Jeon Ji Hyun and viewers, alike, emotionally bleeding and sore. And wondering what's the deal with the beautiful alien? Well, besides the fact that he may look human, we still don't know how human he is where it counts the most - (*whispers* down below). Moral of the story is there are no two ways regarding matters of love. It's either you like someone or you don't, and there is no "kinda" or "I-do-buts." If you like them then tell them, and the rest is up to them.
2. ONCE TAMED, PLAYERS MAKE THE BEST BOYFRIENDS/HUSBANDS
I don't know who in their right mind came up with this ridiculous advice, but people have been following it for years, especially the writers of King 2 Hearts. The Lee Ja Ha (Lee Seung Gi) and Kim Hang Ah (Ha Ji Won) couple would be all types of dysfunctional in real life, given the fact that there is no trust whatsoever in their relationship.
You know what players make best? Broken hearts, and bitter girls with low self-esteem burying their hurt away in a big bowl of chocolate ice cream while singing another depressing Baek Ji Young breakup song (And yes this is my life story, shush!) Stop thinking that you're the one person they're going to fall in love with so hard that you can make honest people out of them. That's not going to happen. You see that golden aura he/she has around that makes all the women and men swoon? It comes from sucking the love out of foolish people like you. Take it from a former sucker, assume that you're the rule not the exception. It will save you a world of heartbreak.
3. HE'S BEING A JERK TO HIDE THE FACT THAT HE LIKES YOU
What? No, just no. This is not middle-school. Just because he throws rocks at you and pulls on your pigtails does not mean he likes you. This right there is what I call a lie - a dirty, filthy lie that our patriarchal society's been perpetuating to keep women delusional, clingy and needy. In Boys Over Flowers, Gu Jun Pyo (Lee Minho) may look like the perfect boyfriend in theory, since money is coming out of his nostrils every times he exhales, but unless you are a masochist or ready to chuck up good money on therapy for years, then you don't want to go there. Girls like Geum Jan Di (Gu Hye Seon) can have all the jerks in the world because from now on I'm on a strict Ji Hoo sunbae (Kim Hyung Joo) diet.
4. A MAKEOVER MAKES YOU HOT AND ALL THE BOYS WILL WANT YOU
If only that were true then people like me would at least still have the tiniest delusions that my status as a single woman has everything to do with my clothes and nothing to do with my terrible personality. Thanks a lot Scent of Woman. And if you were wondering, I'm still waiting for that handsome chaebol to come rescue me. The drama narrates the story of a dorky dying woman who decides to finally live her life to the fullest by first changing her appearance and suddenly afterward has two men fighting over her attention. As if! You cannot bedazzle a person into liking you. Although some people are visual creatures, as soon as you open your mouth your true character will come out and they will notice. Unless they are stupid, in which case you don't want to be with someone like that.
5. IT DON'T MEAN A THING, EVEN IF THEY'VE GOT A RING
No.No.No. An engaged man or woman is off limits despite what the dramas say. Heck, any man or woman who is attached to another person is off limits. One thing always stays true - karma's paybacks are bounteous. If a person leaves their current significant other for you today, what makes you think they're not going to leave you for someone else tomorrow? Exactly! And that's how people get shot. Hell hath no fury like a lover scorned. When people are hurt, they don't just sit still and watch their future happiness snatched away. Heirs' Cha Eun Sang (Park Shin Hye) is lucky Ra-Hel (Kim Ji Won) is not from my hood. The version of this drama is played a lot where I'm from but only with a lot more hair pulling, cursing, and threats of disembodiment. So beware, if a taken man tells you that he likes you or that he's not happy with the person he's in the relationship with, then tell him to come back...as a free man. Furthermore in reality, anybody who puts you in the situation like Kim Tan (Lee Min Ho), where you have to play the side piece, mistress, concubine you name it, has no respect for you. So say it with me: "Boy, bye!"
6. IF YOU LIE TO YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT WILL EVENTUALLY COME TRUE
Well, I'm not positive about this one yet because I'm still hoping me and Taeyang will mean something to each other one day. So all my hardcore fan dreams would finally come true. Yaaaaas! In all seriousness though, the boyfriend in your head is not your boyfriend in real life. That's how stalking starts, people. What the drama Lie To Me doesn't tell you is that it's fraud to claim that you're married to someone when you're not and you could actually go to jail for that. Therefore if I were you, I would keep the world in my head locked inside because people will sue you for anything nowadays. I don't know about Korea, but there is a special place for crazy chicks like Kong Ah Jung (Yoon Eun Hye) in the States and it's called a nut house. So nice try drama.
7. IF YOU CROSS-DRESS AS A MAN, HE WILL LIKE YOU
First of all, To the Beautiful You is all kinds of wrong. You should never try to change yourself so drastically for anyone, no matter who they are. Buying clothes is one thing, but traveling miles away from your home, lying to just about everyone you know including your parents, and claiming that you're a guy to the person that you like is just something else. Girl, get your life! That's why they call it drama because that's the only place this should happen. And second, if Kang Tae Joon (SHINee's Minho) had liked you because he thought you were a guy, then maybe you wouldn't be "the person" for him. You feel me?
8. IF YOU FOLLOW A GUY AROUND HE IS BOUND TO DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR YOU
Some would say that Master's Sun's Tae Gong Shil (Gong Hyo Jin) has a legitimate reason to follow Joo Joong Won (So Ji Sub) around but when the po-po comes for you, you might as well have the power to see the Holy Ghost because that's the only entity that will be able to get you out of jail. And based on the fact that couples moving in together before marriage have an increased chance of divorcing compared to other couples, then it's safe to say that sticking to your significant other like glue may not be the smartest or wisest move. Besides, last time I checked (and believe me I checked) stalking was still a crime.
9. IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, YOU SHOULD BE WILLING TO GO TO JAIL FOR THEM
Naw! You can but that does not mean you should. Drama, you should take several seats! There is a reason why our forefathers established judicial branches in every government in the world. It's to makes sure that punishments befitting the crime are delivered. If people don't get punished, they don't understand the ramifications of their crimes and they will probably do it again. People learn to grow from experiences. Kang Maru from Nice Guy (Song Jong Ki) learns the hard way that sometimes the best you can do for the people that you love is to let them fight their own fights.
10. YOU CAN FORCE SOMEONE INTO LIKING YOU
No boo, you can't. Logically, there's no way a girl like Ra Im (Ha Ji Won) would just let herself be dragged around and yanked all over the place by a weak, rich mama's boy like Kim Joo Won (Hyun Bin) in Secret Garden. Especially after she clearly states that she doesn't like him on many occasions. Listen, my peeps, when the love is not there, it just ain't. No matter how many times you insist, beg or kiss the coffee foam away, which by the way is asking for a well-deserved slap, it will not change that fact.
What other bad love advice has K-dramas tried to give?