Jesus runs the Tokyo Marathon.

When and where will Jesus appear for the Second Coming? The question has been answered. He showed up at the Tokyo Marathon, which took place on Sunday, the 24th of February. The winter in Japan has been at times brutally cold, just like it's been in many parts of the United States. But Jesus doesn't care about the cold. He doesn't need running shoes. Because he's Jesus.

Unfortunately for him, being that Japan is a nation known for cosplay, it seems that everyone involved either as organizers, participants or witnesses just thought he was some weirdo dressed as Jesus. Probably didn't help that only three percent of Japanese believe in Jesus.

"He even made himself look emaciated!" was a comment by a witness. "Are you sure he's not a skinny Asahara from the Aum Shinrikyo Cult?" was another. For those that don't remember, Asahara was a fat, bearded cult leader who ordered the nerve gas terrorist attack on the Tokyo subways almost twenty years ago. Others wondered if it was sacrilege to put his runner's ID number on the cross.

Either way, Jesus finished the race of course. But then he quietly disappeared, probably to go get in a hot bath and take care of his destroyed bare feet!

After some investigation, it's been revealed that Jesus was actually not Jesus at all. His name is Lullaby. He's a vocalist for the band, The Chambers. Go Lullaby!