I really enjoyed the chapter, especially the scenes between Shi Ho and Ma Ri. I ship them even more after this chapter. I didn't think it was possible. And I keep loving the bromance between Shi Ho and Jae Min. This K-drama will be the end of me! And no matter what happens, I'll do what I can to soothe my heart (and anyone who's in the same place as me) with this fan fiction. I hope you are enjoying it.

A chapter full of emotions in Orange Marmalade — did you watch it? You should before reading this chapter. Watch below:

Previously on Orange Marmalade: Look At Me


Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Orange Marmalade: Look At Me
Chapter 4: Disappointment

I keep having drams like those in which I'm in that weird bed. In which she's by my side, asking me to wake up. In which she tells me so many things.

"I also used my abilities…" she says, her face so apologetic. "I know you sacrificed yourself to stop me and yet I still did it. But I just couldn't let him die, Shi Hoo-ah. I couldn't."

I don't reply, I can't because even if I, standing from afar can speak, she can't hear me. But sometimes my body reacts, a little movement of my fingers, my chest raising higher or something like that and she always encourages me to wake up.

"He doesn't remember me now," she continues. "Which makes it seem more like I did it for nothing." She laughs but there's no humour in her voice. "But I think that's better if he doesn't remember me, it makes it easier to leave now that everyone know I'm a vampire. I don't have to worry about him anymore."

By now my face isn't that wrapped in bandages so she can softly stroke my hair and cup my face. I can somehow feel it and it makes me want to wake up more than ever.

"Now I just have to worry about you. Wake up, Shi Hoo. Just wake up. I don't want to lose you, too."

I'll wake up for the girl in my dreams. I know that, just how I know I'll meet her again when not dreaming.

And I was right. I didn't even have to look for her or even worry about it. I was confident our paths would cross again. She just walks past me, with her hair bouncing with every step, that beautiful small smile, those eyes that sparkle with life and a strong spirit. She's even more beautiful in the daylight where I can fully appreciate her. First time I saw her she was dancing as she defended herself with just a flute.


Now she just walks, minding her own business and with a happy aura, as if something good happened to her and seeing her like that has the same effect.


My eyes follow her naturally as my own heart races in my chest, too happy that she's here again, in front of my eyes. I don't even realise how I end up tiling her, wanting to know where she's going with that smile. I end up in front of a noble's house, clearly not hers. Her clothes and hair speak of a low social status. Not that I mind or care at all but I'm curious what she's doing there. So I end up waiting.

And I wait. Wait until I hear someone raising her voice. Someone scolding and my guts tell me she's in trouble. With that in mind I hurry inside just to find her on her knees trying to explain herself and a woman scolding her, humiliating her. My own fists clench as rage fill my veins. I want to yell at that woman to stop treating this girl like that and at the same time I just want to cover her ears so she won't hear anyone treating her like that. But I have to keep my cool unless I want to cause more trouble for her. I still intervene but keeping for myself all the things I really want to tell that lady. I do what I can to stop this. I won't step back until she can stand on her feet and with her dignity. But I didn't count on him showing up.

My friend. Jae Min.

And even more so I never expected he would talk like that. It's so not like him to treat someone like an animal and side with a cruel woman. Jae Min is fair and honourable, I know that. He is my friend. I've never seen him like this before and it's so shocking I can barely process what's happening. He is humiliating the butcher girl, because that is what she is, somehow he knows that. Jae Min is being more despicable than the lady and the rage in me is boiling now, and it is directed to my friend. For the first time I really want to hurt him, to make him shut up and stop treating her like this.

I've never been so disappointed in someone as I am right now in Jae Min. I still can't believe he did this.

I'm sure she didn't do what she is being accused for, I'm positive it's a misunderstanding but no one lets her speak.

I feel terrible for her when she's shooed. Because I couldn't really help her and spare her all that pain. But I end up following her again. I'm sure she's frustrated and humiliated and angry but she can't do anything about it. She isn't allowed. Besides, if she is indeed the butcher's daughter then that means that my prank to finally get expelled caused her problems.

I owe her more than I expected.

So no, I don't just ask her to duel with me for my own amusement but also for her. She needs to let go and channel that frustration and anger. And let's be honest, I want to see her sparring again, from up close.

I give her a stick instead of her flute and challenge her. I tell her to attack me and I don't know if she can really read the meaning in my words but it doesn't matter, she attacks instead of just defending and my heart has never raced like this before. Duelling with her is exhilarating and beautiful, she moves with such grace and lightness. She is great and seeing her like this, fighting for real and attacking me without fear makes me just confirm she is the perfect woman for me. She is all I want for my life.

My future companion.

And although I introduce myself I don't ask for her name. I want to leave something else for our next meeting because yes, we will meet again. That's a given. Besides, I owe her and her family an apology and I will make sure to give a proper and lengthy one. I bow that to her. I never wanted to cause innocents that kind of problem, just to mess with a few pompous scholars and escape from it.

I leave her with that promise, that I will apologise and that she'll give me her name next time.

But that doesn't happen quite like expected. I see her again although she doesn't see me because once again she's being humiliated and Jae Min is there before I can do anything. For a second I think I'll have to step in and save her from his cruelty but this time he stands up for her. He protects her. He… confesses to her.

What is happening? Why does he say those things about stopping to see her and telling her not to walk past him? Why is he so intense? Why is he looking at her and holding her like that? Why is she staring at him with that face? What is happening there?

My heart starts aching as possibilities fill my mind. Fear and reluctance to believe what my head is suggesting. But no, it can't be. He treated her as the worst before, like a dog, a pig, a cow… not even worth it to be near their people. It doesn't make sense.

She can't.

She can't be the girl he was taking about before. He spoke of her with such adoration and respect. He spoke of her as if she was a magical creature. The butcher girl can't be that creature, not if he treated her like that. He should've stranded for her back then just like he's doing now.

Then why is he doing it now? This doesn't make sense. I don't want to believe the woman we both love is the same. That can't be true. Fate can't be cruel to make us love the same woman.

But it seems they have met in other occasions. They talk in a way no one can really understand, using words that only have meaning for them. If they have met before then that can mean she is the girl my friend loves. Why would Jae Min ever act like that if he didn't have an interest for her? Why would he expose both him and her like that if he didn't love her?

No. Please, not that. Anything but that. I rather be disappointed in him for treating her like an animal. I rather that because if so then I can convince him that he did wrong and even make him apologise. Anything is better than him loving her, too. I can't even deal with that.

Please, Jae Min. Tell me she's not your girl. Please… not her. Please.  

This is a work of fiction with no profit intent. All characters and context belong to the rightful writers of the webcomic and drama. This is made by a crazy obsessed fan for other fans who suffer from Second Lead Syndrome.

Bel, xx

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